I am never lost while I still live
Journal Entry:
Sat Jul 11, 2009, 12:14 AM
- Mood:
Awestruck
Everything is conncected. Everything. Everything I have done has led up to this. All my choices have led up to this.
Months ago. I got my first sketchbook. One of my first drawings was the Love Coin. "Love and Luck, in one Coin."
Today, I made and used that coin.
But I'm getting ahead of myself.
I've used a coin before, but that was my Suicide Coin. I flipped it three or four times. Every single time, it came up the side that meant "Don't kill yourself"
I went camping, I was giving up on being an artist. I tried to destroy my drawings by putting them in the river.
The water didn't even smudge the graphite. The papers were fine.
======
IN order of occurence, today:
~ I wake up. I finish reading Akaelae. I look for other furry comics.
~ I find one, about werewolves (Peter is the Wolf). I read through it.
~ Later, I decide to change one of my characters to a trickster fox named Kitsune. I google Kitsune, and look in images.
~ I like one of the images, so I click on it. It leads to a myspace page. I find the image on this page; I knew it from a test. I take the test.
~ The test mentions Ookami. I don't know what this is. I google it.
~ Ookami is Wolf. The first site on google looks interesting; it's a wolf roleplay site. Having read Peter is the Wolf, I investigate, and join. I use my very first email account that I haven't used in a while.
~ In my email inbox- besides the confirmation email- is an email from the Save the Wilderness fund. They defend wolves.
~ Later, I am watching a move called Push. During it, the first thing the Protagonist does is roll dice. i think, maybe I'll roll dice whenever I wake up to decide what I'll be that day. The first four things I think of are animals, because I can do lots of animal sounds and I took that test today. I also think: Worker (do work/chores) or Artist (Draw)
~ I decide to flip a coin to decide whether I work to become an artist or grow up to be a manual laborer.
~ On a whim, I think "I've been wanting to follow my heart. I'll draw a heart on the tails side, like the love coin. Heads means I follow my brain, and live a normal life as a worker."
~ I flip the coin perfectly, it lands on Heart.
~ When i go back to watch the second half of the movie with my parents, my dad offers me chocolate. I taste fruit, so I say "Cranberries?" He says "Yeah, and almonds." I think.. cranberries are in the Endangered Species Wolf Bar.
~ I check the chocolate. It IS the wolf bar. It used to be my favorite. I asked him.. he didn't know it was the wolf bar.
Then everything snaps together. And I remember the Hero's Quest journal I posted.. about the skill the hero needed.
Observation. Looking closely. Then you find the secrets.
I'm not living lost.. I'm never lost. I'm always connected. Past. Present. Future.
I have complete control over my life and what happens.. today determines tomorrow.
I know now what I must do, Sensei.
God.. I wrote that on a postcard, weeks ago.. a postcard from camping. it says what I do today determines my future.
There are wolf cubs on the front of that card!
--
dare to dream,dream pushes your bounderies forward and strive for a goal.
--
If I keep a green bough in my heart, then the singing bird will come. -Chinese proverb.
No one knows where a ninja goes.
-Muramasa
If you do not enter the tiger's cave, you will not catch its cub.
Japanese proverb.
OMG!!!!OMG!!!OMG!!!!!!!!
hizashiburi da ne!!!!!!!!!!!T______T...me missed ya!!!!!*cries like a kid*.....
where'd you run off too?
--
dare to dream,dream pushes your bounderies forward and strive for a goal.
thank for the watch.
Eme
--
If I keep a green bough in my heart, then the singing bird will come. -Chinese proverb.
No one knows where a ninja goes.
-Muramasa
If you do not enter the tiger's cave, you will not catch its cub.
Japanese proverb.
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